??

The time you feel most lonely is not when there is none around you, it is when you have a lot of people around you, but somehow you cannot communicate with them. I love my friends but I do not know why, I am not able to explain how I feel to them. I can't reach my mother on the phone and there is none else whom I can think of, to talk to. I have never felt this dangerous mixture of pain and loneliness combined together.. I never got to tell him good-bye, my uncle.. He is in the ICU and is in pain and I am dying of not knowing what is going on.. Is there anything terribly wrong? Or are people merely panicking?
Was I able to live up to his expectations of a niece? He is a key reason I am able to do my MA.. will I let him down when the results come? Or if I am able to make him proud, will he know about it?? What about my sisters? my dear darling sisters? He is their father... How can they ever get over the loss..?? If they marry and go away, what will my aunt do? How can she stay alone? How can she relocate from the home she spent three- quarters of her life-time with her husband? Will my uncle know how much I love him?
My family is not very good with sweet words, or even gestures.. but We do love you.. with our whole hearts.. Please do not leave us.. fight on.. fight for our lives that can never be the same without you around......